"It's all in you head." "You're making too big a deal of it." "Don't make a mountain out of a molehill." "Just stop worrying about these things."
Have you been on the receiving end of these types of statements? When you express concern or point out a potential problem, are you often treated as though you're overreacting or thinking about things that you shouldn't be thinking about?
Then you're probably a woman.
One of the primary ways women are held back in today's business world is by making them question themselves. We're trained to question our instincts. We're told that when we notice a potential problem, that the real problem is the fact that we noticed anything at all.
I've had this experience and it is daunting. It's not daunting when it happens once, but it's when these types of statements become the anthem of your work life that they begin to weigh you down.
I think of myself as someone who is self-reflective. So, when a colleague I respect tells me that my concerns are all in my head, I want to listen. I want to step aside and think about it. However, when the same colleague has concerns that he expresses to me, I am quick to take responsibility and to apologize. I've noticed that this same level of respect and responsiveness is not given to me. Instead, it's as if my colleague believes his job is to console me.
There are two stereotypes at play here men are fixers and women are worrying, damsels in distress.
My colleague isn't a bad guy, he's just unaware of his own unconscious bias. Are you aware of yours?
