I purchased a homeschool curriculum for my son from one of the biggest homeshool curriculum companies. They have a really active online discussion forum. Many of the people who post are on there everyday and they have formed best friendships even though they have never met face to face.
Well, I have noticed some mild to severe racism on the site. Without going into too much detail, the phrase ebonics was used, someone posted about how blacks and mexicans just sit around collecting checks, another person said that the term "African-American" gives her a rash. Almost all of the people who post are white. Literally, I think there are only three of us who are black and there are thousands of posters.
I started a thread about the racial bias and I asked if I was welcome there. Some of the angry people posted comments to effectively say that if I don't like the heat I should get out of the kitchen. Others posted comments about how they really didn't see any bias and they wanted me to help them see it. Others expressed that they too had seen racism but didn't know what to do because the racist posters usually had the majority in their corner. The most interesting thing was that some people began opening up about racism they had seen in their own lives. Some people talked about how they were told they could not date black men when they were growing up. Others were told that they should not have black friends etc. One person asked me if I could give them a reading list of books to help them deal with their lack of sensitivity in issues of diversity! I felt so ill equipped to help her since I am still learning myself! But I did my best.
I shared some of this with a good friend. She sided with the posters. She felt that they are entitled to their opinions. She felt that blacks need to stop looking back and just move on. I tried to expain to her that racism still exists, I cited a study out of the University of Pennsylvania about employment disparities between white and black males, she just looked away. I thought that maybe she just didn't understand how bad things really were. I explained to her about my dad being beaten by the police when he was 14 and his cousin who was killed for looking the wrong way at a white woman. She interrupted me to say that that was a different generation though.
Nothing I said to her could arouse compassion. She wouldn't budge. At one point when I was explaining about racism, she interrupted me and said, "Oh, yeah, well what about Reverend Wright. What do you think about that." As if there is any question. Did she think I would side with him becaue he was black? I explained that there was no excuse for his comments and they were offensive to everyone, not just whites. She then asked what I thought about Obama for going to that church. I explained that he hadn't heard the comments. It felt like she was trying to drop bombs on me that would explode and expose that there is no racism from whites, just racist blacks.
I could not believe the ideas that came from my friend. I know her. I know she doesn't read the news, read history books, etc. I know she is disengaged. But her husband and her mom are not. I got the impression that she has swallowed whole some idea and decided that she does not need to hear the other side. Whenever I would start trying to explain things to her she seemed to get irritated.
I don't know. It was weird. I began to feel that my world was full of smiling white faces that, when peeled back, revealed eyes filled with disgust and judgement. When I was reading the forums a little voice in my head said, "So, is this how they talk when there are no blacks around?" I was ready to stop perming my hair and start wearing dashikis!
I can't let these things make me crazy. But I also can't look away. So, to maintain my sanity, I am actively reminding myself that my friend (former friend) is in the minority. Not all people think this way.
The bottom line is that I can't just drop it. I won't. For me, that is the definition of character. I will not slink into a corner and say that it's someone else's problem. It is not my problem because I am black. It is not my problem because I am raising black children. It is my problem becase I have breath in me. It is everyone's problem.
I love discussing race relations with people of the applicable because it helps me grow and learn from different perspectives. ALL of us grow up with assumptions that are not quite in touch with reality.
ReplyDeleteI am white and went to 1/2 city 30-30-30 high school and 1/2 white country high school. In the city HS, I dated several mixed race boys I considered "white" and my parents told that if I were to marry a black man I would likely be ostracised and have to live solely within the black community which had completely alien values. (one drop rule - my parents are pre-desegratation) I was encouraged to make black friends as long as their parents were of the same educational backgroung (college)
In the city school the black boys would throw pennies because I was white and that was all I was worth for prostutition to them. bizarre for a 15 year old but you learned not to walk down that particular hallway the black boys congregated in before breaks. such is life in the 80's only one generation into homogenous school demographics.
25 years later I find discrimination against blacks is more dependent upon social status and education. And I observe this both in the professional world and for me personally. Are we post-racial? Maybe in terms of class and education.
For many people in today's society, poor white and hispanics (wiggers) and poor blacks are all black and educated people are all white regardless of color. Which really sucks for educated wealthy blacks - and that is where today's discrimination really comes into play. So who likes Mychal Massey? I do! He nails race relations. Warning: he is very angry. http://mychal-massie.com
It just a s hard trying to discuss racism when you are white with anyone who is racist. Racism is pervasive everywhere being white has a lot of advantages but their are many other types of judgements that we people place on each other it is crazy. I agree with you and the blogger before me talking reading listening to others from different backgrounds differnt views gives us all a better perspective after all first most of us are people human beings. My youngest son believes that people can rule themselves without any government, when I tell him about cruel evil people who will act otu in violence and terror he always tells me "those people are the exception, mom, most people are kind and loving" He is still very young only 21. I want to believe him, but than we are fighting two wars right? We need to never forget that first we are human beings all of us. Your strength and character are amazing, your children are very lucky, remember how lucky you are to have the opportunity to know them, raise them, and never stop learning from them. I thank God every day I had the opportunity to take part in raising my children. They are some of the nicest people I know despite my mothering.
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