Vanity

Obviously, the reason I'm working on this documentary film is to learn as much as I can about my grandfather and to bring his story to the masses.

BUT, the thought of being immortalized on screen for my children and grandchildren and anyone else to see definitely made me feel a little self-conscious.  To be clear, I tirelessly worked on research for this film up until a few days before I was supposed to leave.  But, in the final hours before my scheduled departure I will admit that I shopped and shopped.  I spent hours at Nordstrom's, Dillards, Gap, Old Navy, Kohl's, and Target.  I shopped so much that our credit card company called to make sure that the card hadn't been stolen.  I got my legs waxed, my brows waxed, had my hair done, and my toes as well.

We've been back for a few weeks now and I haven't seen any of the footage, but Ray was very generous when were in Greenwood.  After watching the dailies from the first day of shooting he said that I looked great on film.  So, I really didn't think anything more about it until I got home.

The other day I was in a conversation with one of the production coordinators and I kept using the wrong word.  She'd giggle and correct me.  I'd thank her and then refer to people by the wrong names.

I hung up the phone after talking with her and I remembered that I do have a bad habit when I'm tired.  In a nutshell, I mix up words and sound like a bumbling idiot. One day I told my son to pick a ball up off the floor.  He wouldn't budge.  I told him again, I even pointed at it.  I looked at him crossly and he looked back at me with eyes filled with tears.  He said, "Mommy, there isn't a ball on the floor."  I realized I'd been saying "ball" when I meant to say "robot."  I know, I know it's sad.

Anyway, when we were filming the documentary I was usually running on a few hours of sleep and several cups of Starbucks Instant Coffee.  I started to wonder if, during some of the interviews I said "Joseph Norwhal" instead of "Booker Wright" or things like that.

So, I called the producer.  YES, I called the producer even though I know he loathes talking about this kind of stuff.  This is how the conversation went.

"Hey, David, sometimes, I say the wrong word when I'm really tired.  In any of the footage did I sound out of it?"

"No, you sound fine.  But you do look tired in a few of the scenes and when you try to show concern for people you usually look angry."

"What?!"

"Hey, if you need coddling talk to your director."

Really, that's how it went down.

It gets worse.  For reasons I can't explain (or am too ashamed to admit to) I called him again a few days later to see if he was kidding or not.

"David, do I really look mean and tired?"

"Are you seriously calling me so I can puff you up?  Is this a vanity call?"

"Yes, it is and I'll be calling again in about 20 minutes.  Do I look mean and tired?"

"When?"

"In any of the scenes."

"No, everything with you looks great."  (Which I think in Davidspeak means, "Please, stop calling me.")